What a year 2020 was. I know many of us struggled to deal with what happened around us. I find it hard to express myself, and I don’t give much away, but I feel that this is the right time to share a little bit about my own mental health story. I hope doing this will help normalize talking about mental health and encourage someone to speak up about how they feel.

Back in 2012, I had one of the worst years of my life. I struggled with becoming increasingly isolated at school (for several reasons) and from the pressures of a family situation at home. I experienced anxiety and depression, but I didn’t recognize this immediately and didn’t receive the help I needed. It started with being singled out and bullied at school, which happens to many students, but it got so bad that I felt isolated and dreaded attending school. That’s when things got tricky and started to spiral out of control.

Transitioning from school into college was super difficult, and I couldn’t manage it. By this point, I had developed irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) because of my crippling anxiety, which caused me to be scared to leave the house. I had no support and no choice but to drop out. My friends and first boyfriend slowly walked away, too, which caused an emotional breakdown. I stayed in bed for two months straight. I didn’t see the point in anything. I felt like a failure and believed that no one cared.

Ultimately, I didn’t want to be here anymore; no hope, no motivation, no future.

Those times were confusing, frustrating, sad, and lonely, as I had no friends around me that really understood my situation. I felt like a burden when I thought about talking to anyone. I didn’t feel I could reach out to anyone, and I just completely shut down. It was such an important time in my life, as it was time to choose what to study at university. I should have been thriving, but instead, I was barely surviving. I wanted to do well and succeed, but I let what was going on socially and emotionally overtake my focus. I was singled out for being different. At the time, I saw that as a weakness, although now I see it as a strength.

If it weren’t for some of my family members, I wouldn’t have gotten through that time and out the other side. Seeking out therapy a few months after this period—as well as seeing my general practitioner, who listened to my struggles and how I was—also supported my journey. This was the first positive step in trying to manage my thoughts and feelings. Volunteering and landing my first job was a great boost to my confidence, and this changed everything. Having a routine to get through each day was a huge help. The power of planning your day and sticking to it is really underrated. Discipline is key!

Since then, I have continued to struggle with both anxiety and depression.

I have been on medication, I have been to a counselor several times, and I’m still trying to figure out how to manage it at times.

Life happens, and it can feel so overwhelming. I’m continuing to learn all the time. It’s a journey of healing, and I’m glad I am on it. I’m learning more and more about myself every day and, even if it sounds slightly cliche, learning to love me for me.

It is now nine years later, and I’m in a much better place. After falling only a year behind at school, I earned a place at university to study occupational therapy. I’m now in a job that helps others to realize their potential when they can’t necessarily see it amid their own mental health struggles. I value being able to help people at their lowest point—being able to guide them to rediscover their passions in life and facilitate support for them on their own journey. It really is rewarding.

Mental health impacts everyone in some way, and I’m sure many others have experienced similar circumstances and have not always understood how to get help. But all I can do is try to encourage you to reach out if you are struggling because, despite what your mind tries to tell you, you are loved, and people do want to listen. You have uniqueness you bring to the world, and you shouldn’t let your mental health take that away from you!

Steph Collinson works as an occupational therapist and is pivoting careers to start working online as a virtual assistant. She lives in Scotland with her boyfriend and two guinea pigs. She is passionate about travel, music, and writing to penpals all over the world.