It was spring in 2017, and my husband was in the Netherlands spending time with his dying father. A couple of days before he passed away, I spoke with my father-in-law over the phone from Canada.
I had just received the results of my third Lyme disease test in four years. It was positive. After years of guessing, I finally knew what my mysterious symptoms were all about. It was Lyme disease.
My father-in-law’s last words to me were, “Now you can move on, you know what it is. It’s not in your head. You can really beat this.” Waterfalls of tears fell; sadness at his passing, of course, but also tears of hope. Tears for the fact that I wasn’t “crazy.” Tears for the years of desperation. Tears for feeling misunderstood. Tears of grieving for the life I used to have.
Chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, insomnia, brain fog, depression, and chronic sinusitis had a name now.
I had already done several treatments, but after the diagnosis, I became more aggressive. I took antibiotics for 18 months. I tried ozone therapy and vitamin IVs. I even traveled to the US for three stem cell treatments.
My instinct guided me that something was still wrong. My mind was a mess. Filled with childhood trauma, pain, and brain fog. An MD in the US talked to me about meditating. “Meditating?” I thought, “That’s for weirdos. But I’ll give it a try.”
And so I did.