Content Notice: This story contains references to Pregnancy and Childbirth.
18 and pregnant.
What feelings does this sentence give you? Any negative connotations? Who is the type of girl you would picture in your mind?
Meant To Be
By Emily Hasson
When Emily became a teen mom, she felt judged and ashamed. Through perseverance and the love of her daughter, she embraced herself and realized that a mother is exactly what she was meant to be.
This is me, 18 and pregnant. My mum was my birthing partner, though I was alone most of the time as I made sure to stay at home until I thought I was getting close. I was practicing hypnobirthing (a mix of relaxation, visualization, and self-hypnosis), and oddly enough, the labor was easier than I expected— or perhaps I was stronger than I thought, mentally and physically.
I was spoken to rather patronisingly whilst I was at the birthing center, like some kind of stereotype of a teen mum. It made me feel small despite feeling like a superwoman for birthing an actual human being. When I arrived at the birthing centre, I was told, “you got hours, you are not even fully dilated yet,” but my baby arrived soon after this comment was made. The water birth I had planned did not happen as my daughter arrived while the water was still running. I received no pain relief during the birth apart from gas and air. I was left relying on only affirmations and breathing techniques.
It took a good year to build the confidence to go out in public with my daughter and be proud that, yes, that was MY daughter. I grew her, I birthed her, and now I nurture her. I felt like I had to hide in public because I did not want people to think bad things about me or put me in some kind of box as a teen mum. After finally getting the courage to go to a baby group when my daughter was nine months, one of the first things someone said to me was, “how old are you?”— I felt sick, I was so ashamed. I considered lying so I didn’t grab the attention of the older women that were there. But it was too late. When I muttered my age, a small group of mums gathered around me with their cups of tea as if I was the latest gossip.
My daughter is now two years old and I have grown tremendously since then. I have come to terms with being a mum and I finally feel not only comfortable about my age but actually proud! I learned a lot about myself as a person that I may not have known until later down the line. I have developed more patience, more love, more kindness, and more understanding. I have learned about things I had never even heard of like hypnobirthing, Montessori, world schooling, and gentle parenting. All these things not only make me a better person but also impact generations to come.
After becoming a mum I was motivated to find work again which led me on an entrepreneurial journey of creating my own business. This has connected me with lots of life-changing people. I relearnt spirituality, manifestation, visualization, and affirmations. I evolved from a socially anxious teen to a confident adult. I attribute all of my growth to becoming a mum at a young age and truly believe that this was all meant to be. I am meant to be here, right now, with my daughter.
There seemed to be signs that confirmed this notion that everything was meant to be. I had an equal sign tattoo on my finger that looks more like an 11 than an equal sign. My daughter was born at 11:11 AM. She weighed 3.33kg and was born on the 23rd of January (01/23). The numerology is uncanny! I had the oxytocin molecule tattooed on my arm at the age of 17— I’m not entirely sure why I got it done at the time, but oxytocin is the ‘love’ hormone triggering labor and breast milk. I also had the word ‘NOW’ tattooed on my other arm at the same tattoo shop a few months later. In my initial picture of me in labor at the beginning of this story, you can clearly see the word ‘NOW’ written behind me. I even met my daughter’s dad at that same tattoo shop— I felt like my tattoos were predicting my future!
I was 18 and pregnant. Now I am 21 years old and soon to begin world schooling with my toddler—we will homeschool while slowly traveling. I no longer believe that I am too young, too this, or too that. I have found my passion in design and branding with which I have been able to create a successful business. Life now is good.
I am where I am meant to be.