Content Notice: This story contains references to suicide.
If you try to take me to the hospital tonight, I am going to run away.
Mania for me includes the following symptoms: obsessiveness, selfishness, little need for sleep, erratic behavior, aggressive spending, brash decisions, calling everybody and talking 100 mph, and feeling invincible. September 2019 marked the deepest manic episode I have ever experienced. I needed help—I just didn’t want to come to terms with it. My parents and wife confronted me after coming home late, (I got lost on the way home), and wanted to take me to the local hospital.
I knew from previous hospitalizations that a nighttime admission would only add stress to the situation for me. My 2017 hospitalization was in the middle of the night and the biggest issue is that it throws off my sleep—the admission process can take a couple of hours. There is the process of checking in, being screened, getting up to the floor, getting scrubs put on, and getting settled into your room. For someone with sleep issues, this drawn-out process was the last thing I needed. I negotiated that we go the next morning.