My Happyer Journey

They say that tough situations provide us with a great growth opportunity. I was never a believer of this phrase until I faced it myself. I have always considered myself more of an extrovert. Like most people, I had to move away from my family for work. In spite of being away from my family, I tried to fill my life with joy by participating in multiple activities and hanging out with many of my dear friends. I would take part in activities like salsa, gym, badminton, and board games to spend my time. 

There were certain days where I felt generally sad for no reason at all, which was out of character for me. I just couldn’t pinpoint why I was feeling so down. At the time, I thought my feelings were not bad enough, therefore, I didn’t care, pay much attention to them, or seek help. Then, after a couple of heartbreaks within a span of two months, I hit my lowest point. I started feeling anxious for no reason and slowly I started to lose sleep. This was affecting my day-to-day life and I was also witnessing a sharp pain in my chest. I started feeling tired all the time. This lasted for about four months and at that time, I didn’t know when or if these feelings would ever end. I honestly didn’t know why this was happening to me and I really wanted to change this situation and feel like myself again.

The numbers on the top represent the rating and the content in the brackets represent the date for which the entry was written.

With this technique, I had a realization that I was happier when I performed certain activities or was with certain people. For example, I went to the gym and did yoga every day in order to be able to sleep during this phase as exercise helped with my symptoms. Around one month of journaling and mood tracking, I also realized what activities I would prefer to do with a given person thereby improving my relationship with that person (for example I might like cooking with my mom but might not like shopping with her). Along with this I also learned that doing things I feared repeatedly extinguished the fear itself, which was evident from the happiness ratings I was tracking. This was mainly possible because I was able to cope with the fear, by doing the activities I love or hanging out more with the people who brighten my mood.  For example, I really feared even texting anyone where there was a potential date possible or felt the irresistible urge to block the person whenever things were starting to go somewhere. At times, I felt that if I continued engaging with the potential date, I would feel miserable and more anxious. However, as and when I resisted this urge to block the person and continued engaging with the person my anxiety actually reduced and eventually vanished. I think the anxiety mainly vanished because my brain got used to this situation. Later on, I found that this technique is known as Exposure Therapy in psychological terms. Exposure Therapy is a psychological treatment that was developed to help people confront their fears and worked well for me.

Currently, I think I am a lot more mindful of my actions than I was before because of a very simple yet very potent technique of monitoring what activities made me feel better and who I did them with. I was able to understand how I felt and why I felt the way that I did. I finally felt as if I was indeed in charge of my own emotions. Later on, I found out that the technique that I had developed for myself of tracking my emotions to see how they influenced my behavior is actually used to treat people with anxiety and depression and is known as Behavioral activation. Behavioral activation is a specific CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) skill that helps us understand the connection between thoughts and emotions.

Based on all of these experiences and learnings, I built an app called Happyer with a few friends so that I could help people, similar to myself, take charge of their own mental health. Because of the lockdown, caused by the COVID-19 pandemic, I was able to release Happyer in both Android and Apple iOS since I had more free time. The flow of the app is quite simple, you choose all the activities you performed in a day, all the people you were with and did these activities with, and finally rate your happiness level on a number scale with the option to add contextual notes for reference. Upon completion, you will be provided various graphs allowing you to understand the impact of a given activity or a given friend. The app also now has the capability to find a therapist if you feel like you need one. I added this component to the app mainly to reduce the stigma behind therapy and to allow users to connect with the therapists in their time of need. Once connected with a therapist, if you choose, you are able to share your mood tracking/journaling data with them. This way the therapist can also get better insights into your mood fluctuations and patterns. 

Currently, I use the app daily, usually before going to bed. I do this just before bed because I feel like this also provides me with an opportunity to introspect my entire day. The app has made me more disciplined by allowing me to understand that if I performed certain activities on a daily basis, then I would feel better and therefore, be happier. This is a part of my daily routine now, which is very different from what it was a year ago.

To show you the impact the rating scale and app have had on my life, I will show you a glimpse into a general day for me. I start my day off by biking and meditating just after waking up (at around 8:00 AM). Afterward, I sit to work, incorporating some movement and breaks throughout my day. In the evening, I go to the gym or incorporate movement with activities like tennis, cricket, or salsa. At night, I try to have dinner early and then head to sleep early. Finding out what things I liked to incorporate into my everyday life has allowed me to feel like the best version of myself. The activity tracking that I utilized to determine what I liked has allowed me to help others who are struggling. Now that I look back at the tough situations I was in and feel grateful that I experienced them because it has helped make my life better and now I am supporting others with their happiness as well.