Not Losing Hope

I have struggled with fear and anxiety for over 20 years and there were many times I felt like giving up.

Since I was young, I have always struggled with fear and anxiety which led me to seek help from a counselor. It got worse when I started college at Penn State in 1990.

During these times, my anxieties and fears were so powerful that I had trouble getting through each day and I didn’t know what to do. I would get very anxious about taking exams during midterms and taking finals at the end of the semester. Each exam was worth 30 percent of your grade and if you messed up on one exam, you could easily fail the class. As a result, you would have to retake the class. Many classes were very difficult which caused my anxious feelings to flare even more. I had to manage my studies and deal with my mental health issues at the same time. I had to write tons of essays with in-depth research for every class I took. I would also get anxious whenever my studies got overwhelming during exam week and I would get fearful thoughts that would make it hard to get through each day. The fearful thoughts would create more anxiety and  I would get into a vicious cycle of worry and fear. I worked with professionals to learn from my past experiences in dealing with anxiety and they recommended that I use exercise as a coping mechanism. I used this advice to support me in getting out of these cycles.

I started a notebook where I would put the advice and knowledge I obtained from my counselor and personal research. I would put some of the information I read into my small notebook. I would put different affirmations into my notebook: “Take it one day at a time” and other statements that made me feel better. 

I realized that I would struggle with my mental health for the rest of my life so I figured I needed to start to learn from my experiences. There were times I really struggled during and after college. I knew that the answers I was looking for were out there and all I had to do was make an effort to find them. Over time, I became very knowledgeable on how to deal with fear and anxiety which helped me manage these feelings.

In time, I became better at conquering my fears and anxieties. Whenever I encountered a fearful and anxious-inducing situation, I would apply the techniques I learned from the professionals and from my research. I would go for a run or a walk when I got stressed— especially when I felt anxious and stressed on a regular basis. Practicing self-visualization helped to prepare me whenever an upcoming event would stress me out, like taking an exam or doing a job interview after I graduated from college. Instead of looking at my struggles as a problem, I looked at each situation as a learning experience.

I continued to struggle with my anxieties when it came to my career and personal life. I continued the process of talking to other professionals, reading a lot of books, and writing down my feelings regarding various situations. There were many times my fears got the best of me and I constantly wondered what would happen if I lost my job due to a layoff. I learned that if I could take control of my situation, I would be able to reduce my anxieties of getting laid off. As a result, I took some nightly computer classes and updated my job skills just in case I would get laid off. I also tried to be more responsible in managing my finances. Additionally, whenever I would get anxious about anything in my life, I would use my notebook and advice from my counselors to improve my situation.

In 2010, I had a lot of personal notes in my notebook and I decided to get my notebook published into a managing fear book: A Layman’s Guide To Managing Fear. I had over 100 pages of information in my notebook and I needed to condense the info to around 50 pages. I went through the information and got rid of the stuff that did not help me in overcoming my anxieties. As a result, I created a small booklet that was effective and easy to read which helped me in getting my life back on track. Creating this book was therapeutic for me and for many other people throughout the years. I continue to this day to use my book to help manage my anxieties and fears, but I am happy to know that my book has also benefited others over the years.

I am a layman and not a professional however my mental health advice and experiences have supported many people and my advice has been featured on TV, radio, many newspapers, and various publications in the U.S. Over the years I have written 90 articles on how to deal with your mental health. Managing my book’s website, social media, article marketing, and other Internet marketing opportunities now keep me busy in addition to my full-time job in administrative work. In addition, my book business keeps my job skills up-to-date, which helps me to continue to be marketable.

For me, the key was not to give up and to seek help from professionals. I learned that we are not alone when it comes to our mental health challenges. There are many local support groups where you can get assistance and can meet others who can relate to your circumstances. Your situation is not hopeless and by finding out what supports your mental wellness,  you will eventually be able to get your life back on track.