In late September 1992, my world changed forever in a matter of seconds. I was at work. I suddenly had an ominous feeling that something was “wrong”. Then it happened. My heart started to beat so fast and hard I thought it was going to explode. I felt this overwhelming pressure in my head. I ended up on the floor. A few days later a doctor diagnosed me with anxiety and prescribed me Xanax. The Xanax allowed me to work and socialize. I decided, on my own, in July of the following year to stop taking the Xanax. My doctor had failed to inform me that stopping Xanax suddenly after long use was not safe. What followed was a complete physical meltdown. I started talk therapy immediately thereafter. I was then given the more specific diagnosis of PTSD. By December of that year, I could no longer do paid work, and I have not done paid work since.
I am now in my 26th year of being disabled. Most of my difficulties over the years have been energy based. When I say energy I am talking about the life force known in eastern terms as chi or kundalini. Over the last 26 years, I have sought to be free of the tortuous energy hurricane that has swirled around inside me every waking second of every day for almost all of that time. There have been huge chunks of time that I was stuck at home, unable to go out. Even something as benign as showering would make my energy issues worse. For the first 4 or so years I vomited every day, sometimes more than once. It has just been in this last year that I have experienced tangible physical, and thus mental and emotional, relief.
